he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
