Sponge bath it is.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
ugly people sure do ruin things
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Your cock deserves a montage
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize