i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
