She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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