For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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