i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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