question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
