Buhtt sex?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
