East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
