i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
