Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
