with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
