It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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