I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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