i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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