Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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