I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
