At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
