thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
