i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
