Little spoons don't ask big questions
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
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