The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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