Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
