In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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