Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
