I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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