Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
