question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
