whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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