You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
