Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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