when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Alive.
So much puke
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
