And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
