We're facebook friends in real life
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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