OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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