I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
