She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
