Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
