a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize