I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
