On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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