i don't plan on having that self control this summer
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just found puke in my bra..
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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