He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
