Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I still have a little drunk in my system
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
