got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
