I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
