he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
