Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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