Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
