I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
