You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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