it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
