it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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