Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
