I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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