You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
my god I love twenty year old dicks
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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