also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
