Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
