he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
