Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
