I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
