if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
