Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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